Economics

[Sinny]

Economics

TWO COWS - Matthias Varga

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

[robomont]

I like the added on stuff.ive seen the first couple.

[Amaterasu]

ABUNDANCISM:

You have two cows.  If You want more, You go to the web and order more.  If You like the number, You do nothing but enjoy Your cows.  If You don't want the cows, You can list them on the interweb and someOne who wants cows can ask for them and You then have the robots ship them.  If no One wants them, You can have them sent to the farm the robots are tending.

Just sayin'.

[Elvis Hendrix]

Elvisism.

You have two cows.
You strap a saddle on one and ride it around town like you own the place.

Your other cow stays at home in the living room and makes a rather fetching TV stand.

[WarToad]

Toadisim:  Time for steak and a milkshake.

[sky otter]

reality

you have two cows.. they cost the last of your money
you have to feed them..no money for grain
you put them in the yard to eat grass..
yard is small   grass is gone in a week
cow poop everywhere - neighbors pissed off at the smell
cows bellowing for food
you are bringing down the neighborhood
neighbors shoot the cows   dead cows stink
crows and coyotes come out of nowhere
kids are afraid
neighbors really pissed and point guns at you
you escape under the cover of darkness

you now live in a cardboard box in the city
no one has cows here

so much for getting them on line

[Sinny]

Sinnyism:

I have two cows, I have no idea how or why..

Well sod it, I'll go find a distant field shove the two cows over there, make a hobby of building a comfortable paddock - the local industrial estates have lots of unwanteed material..

Go pet the cows if I fancy a jog, and tend to them if I want piece and quiet.

The cows live happily ever after.

And they only get eaten under apocolyptic scenarios